I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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