So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
