take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
honey bunches of taint.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
