And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
