idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize