I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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