yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This is classic penis vs brain.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
