I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
