you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
