Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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