I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize