So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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