I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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