The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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