Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
