is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
