So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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