he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
