I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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