I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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