the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
sarcasm needs its own font
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
