I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
