worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
