I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ugly people sure do ruin things
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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