I'm so fucking centered right now
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
