just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
