The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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