no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
