yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
