Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
