I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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