Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
