i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
