Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
