PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
