hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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