um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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