Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we should paint friendship bongs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
