You really coming over, don't trick.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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