He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
