i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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