clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
