I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
high people should be assigned attendants
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
