And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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