Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
