I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize