dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
