Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
