I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
