remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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