I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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