thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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