So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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