i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
