did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
