from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize