well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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