He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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