No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
