Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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